(no subject)

Gracie's situation has continued to deteriorate. We've had a number of issues we've been keeping an eye on:

- possible respiratory infection, despite the antibiotics she's been on
- difficulty defecating; we started her on some laxatives to see if we could get it moving
- general quality of life
- is she in pain?
- is her level of paralysis increasing?

Any one of these issues could have been our stopping point, but in the end it's the paralysis. The signs have been there for most of the past week now that I think back, but last night was the first time she really showed unambiguous signs that she's starting to lose strength in her front legs. I've made an appointment for her at-home euthanasia tomorrow morning.

With the benefit of hindsight, I think the best time would have been a couple days ago. It's been so hard not to be hopeful for more time, for improvements. It's really felt like every day was different from the last for a while now; sometimes better, sometimes worse.

She's getting lots of treats, lots of meds to help her be comfortable, lots of love. It's a saving grace that as much as she's struggling right now, she's still very much excited for tasty food.

We're going to miss her so, so very much, but it's time to let her rest.


Post script:

After I finished writing this, I was crying pretty loudly, and Gracie lifted herself up a little, towards me, and meowed at me. It wasn't her normal "I need something" meow which is actually a lot quieter than this, and less targeted. This one was definitely directed at me; I think just in reaction to me being upset. She's just the very sweetest little thing.